RainCloud Pushing

Today's blog consists of really finding strength in difficult situations. 

Contains fresh emotion. Just need to vent today.

So here I am, almost 32 weeks pregnant. As I was on my honeymoon/babymoon in Japan, I was a little late in taking my glucose test. Of course I went into it believing I would pass. Unfortunately, with my results coming back high, I had to go in once more for testing. This time 3 hrs long, with 4 blood samples. 

Thursday, I had an appointment with my OBGYN, who informed me that yes, I do have gestational diabetes. I will need to monitor my blood sugar for 7 days, and we'll see where to go from there.

 

Here you see my prescription. It requires 4 blood samples a day. 

1 upon waking up. and 3 more, 2 hours after each meal.  

This morning I began testing. Pricking my finger is painful, but for me, the worst pain is the emotional and mental pain.  I've heard its common, but I just feel like I've done something wrong. I feel paranoid about what I put into my body now, knowing I'll have to take a reading on it. Today, I went to the grocery store, picking up diabetic friendly foods. Had cereal for breakfast, made a salad for lunch -- and as I took my reading, my blood sugar level after lunch,was lower than what I've woken up with. I have to remind myself, that these 7 days of testing, is truly a TEST, to see where I need to go from here... I shouldn't feel like I'm starving. It is really hard for me to go 2hrs without eating, or at least nibbling on something... but I need to do, what I need to do.  Upon realizing that I've gone CRAZY, in trying to really watch what I eat, I finally called my husband. I truly believe communication is key, but I thought I could compose myself, and get over it a little, before breaking the news to him. UM WRONG! -- I went hysterical. For the first time I finally let all of my tears out. I just felt bad to let myself get so worked up about it, with him on the other line, getting mad at himself for not being able to be with me. But I am one big ball of hormones, pregnant or not -- I cry a lot. I am blessed to have such a caring hubby. He really is my better half. He's my strength. Assuring me everything is okay, and I really need to remember that... to not let this get the best of me.

31WEEKS & 6 DAYS

Thankfully, Doc informed me that baby's heartbeat was good. He measured my belly and said I was good. That is my biggest concern. My father's side has a history of diabetes, I just pray I won't affect my little one. I feel guilty as her mommy already.. and I know things could be worse. I know I shouldn't stress. I need to accept this, and pray for everything to be okay. To finally let all of my tears out helped. And as I type this, my Naia is moving around. I'm happy she's healthy. It's mommy's turn to make everything good for her arrival. I'm a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason" and " you never receive more than you can handle" I may not know the reasoning behind this yet, but there is one, and we will be okay. (: I just know, I'm definitely making healthier changes! I need to!

 While waiting for my prescriptions, I came across so many Hello Kitty baby things! I'm proud of myself for not giving in and swiping my sad feelings away... Ridiculous enough, all of these items here were no less than $12.50 each. As cute as they were, I couldn't bring myself to buying them. *patting back*

 

Thank you blogger for this little vent session. 

I feel better. (: now it's time to hydrate! 

XO - Savannah