Saturday, August 11, 2012 was soon to be known as the best day of my life thus far.
It was a day I felt heartbreak, only to be blessed with the greatest love I have ever known.
I remember waking up and thinking about Jesse. All the moments we've shared, all the smiles he's given me..... even remembering the last time that I've seen him, and the last things we've talked about...
Saturday morning, I found myself crying. Truly missing him, and then I saw this.
It's been a while since I've seen a rainbow, let alone a nice glimpse of morning rays -- but I knew it was him, telling me not to cry... for he has never given me anything less than an unbreakable friendship.
I love you Jesse. I can never thank you enough <3
After letting go of my sorrows, I found myself enjoying the day. Having a nice lunch with my mom. It has been around 4 days since I've last seen her (Strep Throat).
OKAY ---- so I typed out my whole labor experience, only to find it deleted. Perhaps it was a sign to not go into full detail, with negativity and such. But here we go again! (:
My husband took me to get a pedi, to ensure I would have pretty toes for delivery. We were scheduled to be induced Monday, August 13, 2012, if baby didn't come on her own. Aug 13 is actually the day that Richie had asked me to be his girlfriend, so we were happy to deliver then. 9 days being overdue was long enough. I honestly didn't think I'd go into labor that Saturday.
Like most mornings, I'd wake up with back pain, sore hips, but nothing ever unbearable. It was until we were sitting there in our massage chairs, that I found myself FROWNING in pain. Now, if I'm not smiling, something is seriously wrong. I started timing the pain, calculating that they were approximately 5 minutes apart. I called my mom, stating that I think I was going into labor. Called the doctor, who of course wasn't in town that weekend. :( --- the office then advised me to get to the ER asap -- and that's just what we did --- after the pedis of course. Ha!
I called a close friend, asking her GF if I was having contractions. She too told me to get the hospital!
We went home, packed our bags, and headed up.
I remember feeling nervous, excited, and in disbelief that the day has finally come! I'm going to meet my mini!!! Laying in bed, the pain was still bearable, I was 4cm dilated, and pretty comfortable until the doctor came around and broke my water. That's when the contractions came rolling in. I can't describe the pain, I just know, that I NEVER would have imagined that I'd be one of those women moaning in pain. I always found that 'dramatic' -- but my gosh...I curled up as tight as I could, seriously moaning with each contraction.
Within a few minutes, doctor advised that I was ready to push. Being 5cm, he cut me more. Baby's heart was dropping, and we needed to get her out right away. I remember not being able to breathe, I remember feeling overwhelmed. I remember the doctor scolding me, "Enough noise. Just push. Next time don't wait so long to have a baby. She's too big for you. Next time at least 39 weeks okay? We gotta get her out. If you don't start pushing harder, we're gonna need an emergency c-section so start pushing.." I remember the nurses updating us on baby's heart. I remember getting angry with the doctor, and pushing with all I had.
And then I opened my eyes, and having a baby on my chest. With no time to react, she was taken from me. To clean up, check-up, do whatever they do with babies.
I remember hearing her first cry. Crying myself. She cried until they brought her back to me.... I held her in my arms, said "Hi Naia" -- she opened her eyes, stopped crying, and stared at me. She knew my voice. She knows her momma.
I could finally breathe, for a minute.
Doctor now had to stitch me up -- & I still believe that portion was the worst pain of the whole procedure. He believed I received an epidural -- so he sewed me up without any numbing. But really, if it weren't for this on-call doctor, I don't think I would have felt strong enough to keep pushing. My regular doctor is a big sweetheart.. So it's another case of "everything happens for a reason" -- & for that reason, we are blessed with this beautiful baby girl.
August 11, 2012 @ 20:40
Naia Kealohaonalani Kahanakapu Maiko Salinas
6lbs 5oz. 20 inches long.
I still can't believe she's finally here...
I can't believe that together, my husband and I have created such a precious little girl.
She is such a blessing. I am so in love.
For 41weeks, I've been in pure bliss. Enjoying every kick & ache, watching my belly grow, just feeling the most beautiful I have ever felt before. She's taught me the power of patience, and what it is to care for others, never thinking twice about "me" -- With her here, I continue living with these traits.
She's a good baby, a great listener, and I just pray I can do enough to keep her happy and healthy.
She's surrounded by so much love, and I want her to constantly feel that.
I love you Naia baby, unconditionally.
